“Feminism’s gone too far”

I work in schools and youth groups, running workshops with boys and young men and I want to give you an insight into a phenomenon I’ve seen at in some of the workshops I’ve delivered with boys in the past few months a phenomenon I call: Manufactured male victimhood.

To clarify, there are plenty of men and boys who are marginalised due to a range of issues – intersectional disadvantage, racism, poverty, the postcode lottery, family dynamics and learning and physical disabilities amongst other things.

But the online narratives we see far too often is that ALL men are victims of a rise women’s equality - and ‘feminism’ specifically.

What this means is that whenever we try and discuss elements of manhood and masculinity there will be a built-in and learned defensiveness at play amongst a vocal subsection of the boys we meet.

Where does it come from?

In the first three months of Trump’s presidency we saw increasing signs that empathy - as a trait - is under attack from many places – notably the Right and Evangelical Christians, some of whom have dubbed empathy ‘toxic’ and ‘suicidal’ (Google it if you dare). 

In a land that voted Trump into office for a second term, despite him showing virtually no public empathy, there is a concerted effort from Republican-leaning voices to demonise empathy further. One of Trump’s henchmen, Elon Musk, someone who helped Trump’s campaign and first few months of system-dismantling in the White House and Public Sector in Washington and other State Departments has called empathy ‘suicidal’ and ‘the fundamental weakness of Western Civilization’[1] is showing us a clear sign that he wants Americans to become more selfish, self-centred and greedy. The use of ‘Western Civilization’ is a thinly-veiled dog-whistle towards Nationalism and the need to ‘keep America American’, to build stronger borders and to reject people of other nations. All of this feeds into the Great Replacement Theory alongside the need to reverse the ‘falling (white) birth rate’ in the USA.

Why does this matter? Well, because as with most of the things that Trump, Musk, Zuckerberg and the so-called tech bros talk about, they quickly enter the zeitgeist and lingua-franca of the internet globally.

The other issue with empathy – alongside the issue of it being a weak and ‘suicidal’ emotion in the Right’s eyes – is that it’s widely seen as a ‘feminine’ emotion.

It isn’t just in ‘the West’ that ideas about women having too much power have taken hold of young men, in South Korea the male victimhood ideology as it’s known, has increased due to perceived economic status decline[2] rather than measurably objective economic hardship.

In an article on PsyPost – an online source of research dissemination of psychological understanding – citing Joeum Kim’s research results of four studies with a total of over 15,000 men of all ages found that there were no objective links between perceived male status decline and economic or workplace hardships. The title at the top of this blog does seem to ring true here doesn’t it?

This is the concept I’ve been calling manufactured male victimhood for some time, a concept that underpins much of the rhetoric that young people are exposed to, especially young men and boys who may have been told that they will be natural leaders and ensured of/ entitled to a bright future.

When they hear that they are apparently *victims* of inequality this will likely influence their attitudes towards fairness, justice, equality of opportunity and will tend to reinforce the notion that men are marginalised now ‘because’ of initiatives such as feminism and DEI (Diversity, Equality and Inclusion) which are typically derided as ‘woke’. 

Obviously not all young men will believe this rhetoric but many will be aware of and subject to the pressures to take it on board through social media and their peers when they are all algorithmically targeted with the same types of content that says ‘women have all the power now’ and ‘feminists hate all men’.

How do we tackle this both as parents and in the classroom?

With facts and by opening gentle debate and keeping the conversation going. If pushback/ claims of men being persecuted by women arise then the following prompts many help:

• Has feminism gone too far? How? Can you highlight one way for me?

• In what ways do you see men being oppressed by women?

• Could you describe how this affects you directly?

• Should we look at Feminism and its original aim (equality in politics, economics and society?

  [If you can, use data about the gender pay gap / make up of parliaments globally and in the ‘mother of all parliaments’ in London which features the house of LORDS / consider women’s safety in society and studies of housework and childcare duties and / or medical misogyny…]

• Ask the young people themselves to bring their research from reliable sources.

• Look at gender stereotypes together - and how they don’t help any of us.

• Ask what is wrong with seeking equality? (Remember to keep in mind that ways ‘feminism’ is often referred to/ portrayed as an extreme political movement).

• Look at the importance of empathy together - and why we need it to avoid being too judgemental.

None of these discussion prompts are failsafe or guaranteed to work - but they could help young people to understand and perhaps begin to think critically about the demonisation of empathy that’s happening in the USA and how the struggle for equality has been weaponised and how it’s regularly used as such. 

Thanks for reading,

Bernie.

This topic is going to be featured in Bernie’s forthcoming book and comes from his experiences of working with around 170,000 young people in the past 20 years, 60,000 of whom have participated in his What Makes A (Hu)Man/ Man workshops or in sessions where they discuss Controlling Behaviours, Domestic Abuse or Testicular Cancer. If you would like to chat to Bernie please reach out to him via his Collective page.