Male inclusion: Count In Rather than Count Out
As we support organisations to build allyship across their teams, we've seen the conversation around male inclusion evolve significantly in recent times. More organisations are grappling with the question of where men fit in the inclusion conversation, and the dialogue is shifting from whether this matters to how we address it effectively.
In a recent session, several men in the room shifted uncomfortably in their seats as we discussed creating inclusive workplaces. Not with resistance, but with uncertainty.
The challenge for men in these spaces is real and often unspoken. They want to be allies. They recognise the need for change. But they're navigating a complex landscape where speaking up can feel like dominating the conversation, staying quiet can seem like disengagement, and sharing their own experiences with gender expectations can feel inappropriate or even self-indulgent. Many men tell us they worry about saying the wrong thing, taking up too much space, or appearing fragile when discussing their own constraints. They're caught between wanting to contribute meaningfully and fearing they'll be seen as centring themselves in conversations that aren't about them.
This uncertainty often leads to withdrawal. Men attend sessions but remain on the periphery. They nod along but don't fully engage. And in that silence, we lose valuable perspectives and potential champions for change.
This growing awareness is important. And it's opening doors to deeper transformation.
The Inclusion Challenge
The conversation around inclusion can sometimes inadvertently create distance for men. Through subtle messaging that positions men as either the problem to solve or silent allies in the background, we risk missing an opportunity for deeper engagement. Not through intention or malice, but through the complexity of navigating privilege, power, and genuine transformation.
Many men attend sessions but hover at the edges of participation. They support initiatives while struggling to see where their own experiences with gender expectations fit into the broader narrative. This tension between acknowledging privilege and exploring constraint isn't always easy to hold, yet it's essential for genuine culture change.
True inclusion means everyone. Including men.
But let me be crystal clear about what male inclusion is NOT:
It's not centring male voices in spaces designed for marginalised groups
It's not derailing conversations about sexism with "but what about men?"
It's not prioritising male comfort over necessary discomfort in EDI work
It's not ignoring or minimising systems of privilege
Male inclusion is about something different entirely.
What Male Inclusion Actually Means
Male inclusion means recognising that rigid gender expectations constrain everyone, including men. It means creating space for men to question and challenge the narrow definition of masculinity they've inherited.
This is what male inclusion addresses. The systems that tell men:
You must be stoic. Vulnerability is weakness. Emotions are for women. Mental health struggles should be pushed down, not spoken about.
You must be the provider. Your value is your salary. Career comes before family. Taking parental leave means you're not serious about your work.
You must be dominant. Leadership looks one way. Collaboration is soft. Asking for help is admitting defeat.
You must conform. Step out of the masculine mould and face ridicule. Be interested in "feminine" pursuits and risk your credibility. Show tenderness and watch your authority erode.
These expectations don't just harm men. They harm everyone in the system.
The Business Case for Male Inclusion
When we fail to include men meaningfully in EDI work, organisations miss critical opportunities:
1. We Lose Powerful Allies
Men who feel excluded from inclusion conversations become passive observers rather than active participants. But when men see themselves reflected in EDI work, when they recognise how gender expectations limit them too, they become deeply invested in change.
At one of our workshops, a male executive made the connection: "I've spent 30 years proving I belong in this industry. I never cry at work. I don't talk about my kids. I've built walls around anything that might seem 'soft.' And I've watched women do the exact same thing to survive here. We're all performing."
That realisation transformed him from a checkbox supporter of diversity initiatives to someone genuinely committed to changing workplace culture.
2. We Miss Half the Gender Equation
Gender equality isn't just a women's issue. When we only examine barriers facing women without addressing the rigid masculinity expectations placed on men, we address symptoms without tackling root causes.
Men taking parental leave normalises it for everyone. Men speaking openly about mental health makes it safer for everyone. Men pursuing flexible work arrangements creates precedent for everyone. Men rejecting toxic workplace behaviours changes culture for everyone.
3. We Perpetuate Harmful Stereotypes
When EDI programmes implicitly position men as privileged perpetrators rather than complex humans navigating their own constraints, we reinforce the very gender binaries we're trying to dismantle.
Yes, systems privilege men. Yes, we must address power imbalances. But we can hold both truths: men benefit from patriarchal structures AND are harmed by them. Inclusion work that ignores this nuance fails everyone.
How do we create change?
Create Space for Male Vulnerability
In our sessions, we explicitly invite men to share their experiences with restrictive gender expectations. We explore what masculinity costs them, when they've felt boxed in by expectations, and what parts of themselves they hide at work.
These conversations open floodgates. Men talk about hiding grief when their fathers died. About feeling pressure to have all the answers. About loneliness in leadership. About fear of showing weakness.
Challenge Masculinity Norms Explicitly
Don't tiptoe around it. Name the ways traditional masculinity shows up in your workplace culture. Consider whether celebrating people who work through illness is really strength, or if a leadership model that rewards dominance and decisiveness might be missing collaborative leaders who think before acting. Ask men when they last spoke openly about struggling and what it would take to feel safe doing that.
Make it clear that questioning these norms isn't threatening masculinity; it's expanding what's possible.
Include Men in Parental Leave Conversations
Don't just offer parental leave; actively encourage men to take it. Celebrate men who do. Ensure taking leave doesn't impact career progression for both men and women.
Normalise Male Mental Health
Create mental health resources that speak directly to men's experiences. Train managers to recognise that men often express mental health struggles differently (irritability, withdrawal, overworking rather than traditional depression symptoms).
Model it from the top. When male leaders speak openly about therapy, stress, or struggles, it gives permission throughout the organisation.
Support Men in Non-Traditional Roles
When men enter female-dominated fields or take on caregiving responsibilities, support them. Don't treat them as unicorns or jokes. Recognise that they're challenging gender norms and that takes courage. Challenge discriminatory banter, whoever it is focused on.
Hold Space for Complexity
Men can hold privilege and struggle simultaneously. They can benefit from systems while being constrained by them. They can be part of the problem and part of the solution.
Inclusion work fails when we demand people choose one identity. Effective inclusion embraces complexity.
Making assumptions about someone’s perceived profile feeds the culture that holds us back from real inclusion.
Male inclusion isn't about making EDI work more comfortable for men. It's about recognising that gender equality requires dismantling rigid expectations on all sides.
When men can be vulnerable without losing respect, workplaces become safer for everyone to be vulnerable. When men can prioritise family without career penalty, it normalises work-life integration for everyone. When men can reject toxic behaviours without losing belonging, workplace culture shifts for everyone.
Path Ahead
True inclusion isn't a zero-sum game. Creating space for men to explore and challenge restrictive masculinity doesn't diminish space for other marginalised groups. In fact, it strengthens the entire ecosystem of inclusion.
But it requires intentionality. It requires naming male inclusion as part of our EDI strategy. It requires holding the complexity of privilege and constraint simultaneously. And it requires inviting men into the conversation as partners in change, not problems to fix.
The question isn't whether men need inclusion work. The question is about the kind of workplace culture we want to build; one where everyone can show up authentically, challenge harmful norms, and support each other in becoming more fully human.
That's the workplace I'm working toward. And it includes everyone.
We'd love to hear about male inclusion in your organisation, the barriers you've seen, and the successes you've experienced.
About Powered by Diversity
We help organisations build truly inclusive cultures through training, consulting, and honest conversations about the complexity of diversity, equity, and inclusion. Because real change happens when everyone has space to grow.