An Ally’s Guide To Inclusive Language.

Language continues to be an extremely divisive topic in all areas of diversity, equity and inclusion, for many reasons.

Language habits are surprisingly difficult to change quickly and transgressions can be obvious - having language mistakes pointed out can be an extremely uncomfortable experience, especially if it’s done in front of a third party.

Language is very personal and our choice of language can feel like a huge part of who we are - part of our identity. With this in mind, asking someone to change their language can often be viewed as intrusive or a “step too far”.

With Diversity and Inclusion progressing so fast today, it can also feel like “new rules” are being released all the time and it can feel hard to keep up.

People rarely admit to saying things to purposely cause offence and the use of offensive terms is often combined with “banter” or “having a laugh”.

Appearing to “ban” those terms can create a very real feeling of censorship. Asking people not to use terms that they themselves wouldn’t ever be remotely offended by, can feel “petty” or like people are “being too sensitive”.

Language is personal. Everyone uses it differently and everyone hears it differently so using perfectly inoffensive language to all people at all times can feel like an impossible task. However, especially in the workplace, we must try.

In this 10 step Playbook, we will talk about:

How to get to a place of confidence in talking about Diversity, Equity and Inclusion.
The terms and words to use in different areas of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion and when to use them.
The Language of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion in disability, race and ethnicity, gender, LGBTQ+ and more.

Get Into The Mindset Of Inclusive Language

Before you think about beginning to learn terms, check in with your mindset first. If your intention comes from a genuine drive to be more inclusive and make others feel comfortable being their authentic selves, that’s great.

If you’re learning terms so that you don’t get into trouble or because you have to, head straight to An Allies' Guide to Joining The Conversation and go through the exercises first. Continue to read this section before you begin learning terms, because it’s best to begin with a quick check-in with your mindset.

'Political Correctness?' Go with it

Once people have rejected a term used to describe them, they will often suggest an alternative descriptive term to be used instead. Political Correctness is simply respecting that request.

But inevitably as soon as the terms 'language' and 'inclusive' come out there are eyes that roll, eyebrows that shoot into hairlines, and worst of all, minds that close. One of the first utterances in objection to topics like inclusive language is that it’s 'political correctness gone mad'.

It’s dangerous to pick and choose which terms we will move with the times on, and which we feel is a step too far - or 'political correctness gone mad'.

One example of this from our Collective is from Marta, a Business Analyst, who says:

“One of my colleagues says things that are offensive to women on a regular basis. For example, he calls our Parents Group at work a 'mothers’ meeting' and refers to paternity leave as 'golf holiday'. I told him it was extremely insensitive and also sexist (he has children and a wife who works!) but he sweeps all our objections away by saying everything is “political correctness gone mad”.”

Another example is from Jae who said:

“For me it’s not about getting it right the first time - or even all the time. For me it’s making an effort to ask and remember my pronouns. I don’t mind when people get it wrong, it takes time to get used to - and I get that. For me it’s all about the intention to keep trying.”

REFLECTION

What does ‘political correctness’ mean to you personally? Is it positive or a negative term?
Do you use language as an inclusive tool - or to serve your own needs?
Has anyone used stereotypes and bias in conversation with you at work? How did this make you feel?
Are there any language ‘norms’ in your organisation that you think need addressing?

2. Analyse Language Anger Head On

Sometimes, an angry, defensive reaction to language changes isn't due to the change itself necessarily, more a feeling of lack of control over the change. Change is hard for some people and even harder for others, especially when the change feels like it is being 'forced' from the outside - rather than coming from within.

Being told that offence has been caused can lead to an angry or defensive reaction, especially when the offender hadn't meant to purposely cause offence. Anger is often the feeling displayed in these circumstances as it covers up more painful emotions such as shame - and vulnerability.

If you - or people around you - are exhibiting anger at changes in language, consider empathising with yourself and others and asking for (or offering to) support to analyse and work through it.

Career-wise, continuing to use outdated terms that people have already highlighted as offensive, is dicing with one's own success. Many people are starting to realise this and are getting into the mindset. It can feel frustrating to wait for widespread change to occur if you’re already there - but try as far as possible to bring people with you on the journey. Exercise patience, education and support to help bring about change.

It’s political correctness gone mad Macmillan Dictionary Blog

Address the Dinosaur in the Room

If the topic of equity, diversity and inclusion is new to you, the feeling of knowing that you are running the risk of unwittingly offending people can feel exposing. If you're feeling this way it's likely you're not alone; explain your feelings to your colleagues and be open.

Say that you are a strong believer in equity, diversity and inclusion and that you are open to change - and trying hard, but that old habits die hard, and sometimes you may make mistakes. Open the door to being corrected and consider explaining how you would like to be corrected (e.g. in the moment, in private later, face to face or over email etc).

Project Manager Sita said:

“I saw the perfect example of this when a colleague and I set up the first ever Diversity in Technology group at our company.
About fifty per cent of the attendees at the first meeting were white men. We went around the room and asked everyone to say what they were hoping to get from being in the group.
One older white man stood up, and said “I’m a dinosaur. I have only ever worked with men and computers. I love having so many new people in the team, having women - and lots of different kinds of new people - around has really changed things for the better, but I’m scared of saying or doing the wrong thing - so, I’m here to learn”.
A load of the other man agreed and it broke down so many barriers so quickly.
After that we all felt totally comfortable giving the white men in the group feedback - and asking for their feedback in return”.

Being open to feedback is crucial to knowing when you are unwittingly making language mistakes.

Tell people you’d like them to come and talk to you if something you have said or done has caused offence, and that you will make every effort to address it.

Administrator Ellen said:

“I knew a guy at work who addressed everyone - men, women, everyone - as 'lads'.
He’d say “I’ll go and ask the lads downstairs” or “Hi lads!” when we were a mixed group.
I went to him in private and told him I thought it was weird and a little sexist to call everyone lads, and he was mortified. He explained that where he grew up everyone (male and female) had always used 'lads' as a term to mean 'everyone'. He said he used it the same way I used 'guys'.
He didn’t stop saying 'lads', instead he stood up at our next team meeting and explained his use of the word and said that it was used in the same way as 'guys' and was meant to refer to everyone. He asked that if anyone found it offensive, to please tell him and he would try to change, no one did. I think that was because he’d explained what he meant by it and been open to change. I now do that exact same thing when I join a new team to explain my use of the word 'guys'".

ACTIVITY

What were your own, personal feelings on the examples above?
How would the experiences of Ellen, Sita, Marta and Jae be understood in your organisation?
What can you take from this section and apply in your organisation to help others tackle language fears?

3. Get Comfortable with Discomfort

It’s impossible to talk about diversity and inclusion without also being able to address things like discrimination, bias and prejudice.

It’s also impossible to have personally experienced being on the receiving end of every possible act of bias, discrimination and prejudice. When we haven’t personally experienced being on the receiving end of an act of bias, discrimination or prejudice, learning about them can feel uncomfortable.

If you are learning properly, you should be confronting your own privilege, biases and prejudices throughout, which can be an uncomfortable experience. The feeling of discomfort can range from slightly awkward (“I don’t know what to say to this person” or “oh no, I have used that term before”) to extremely distressing (“I just used an outdated term and I think I have caused offence” or “I am being publicly called out on something I have just said”).

Read up and educate yourselves, individually and as a leadership team, on the different elements of diversity - and why each is important.

You’ll need to get comfortable talking about diversity in all its forms.

In her talk The Paradox of Diversity Dr. Marilyn Sanders Mobley emphasises that

that which we can’t acknowledge, we can’t address.

Educate yourself on the terms people like to use to describe their identities - and what words they prefer people to use about them.
Recognise that it’s extremely likely that you will make mistakes at points, and that those mistakes will more than likely be pointed out.
Get comfortable with apologising - and trying again.

Ready to learn some inclusive terms?

4. The Language Of Anti-Ableism

Ableism is a term that’s used to mean discrimination in favour of non-disabled people. In diversity and inclusion, ableism is a term that’s used like racism or sexism. Just like with the terms ‘racist’ and ‘sexist’, a person can be ‘ableist’.

Actively working against ableism is often called ‘anti-ableism’.

Language doesn’t necessarily have to be insulting, offensive or a “slur” to be considered ableist. Language can be ableist if it perpetuates the superiority of non disabled people over disabled people.

5. Disability Inclusive Language

Person first language involves referring to the person before referring to their disability for example:
“person with a disability” over “disabled person”
“person with a hearing impairment” over “deaf person”
“person with a psychiatric disability” over “mentally ill person”

Many disabled people subscribe to the social model of disability which is a way of looking at disability outside of the medical model and within the context of the built environment and societal norms.

6. Mental Health and Language

Busting the stigmas associated with mental ill health is an ongoing battle. Being inclusive in our language can help a great deal yet with terms like “crazy”, “psycho”, “nutcase” and “loony” all used so widely in everyday language, those seemingly small every-day changes are even more important.

Take a look at the examples below from The Mental Health Foundation and reflect on what small every-day language changes you could make, starting from today:

Describing someone who is organised as “OCD” – being clean, tidy and particular is not the same as living with clinical Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

7. Gender Inclusive Language

When the topic of gender in language is brought up, there’s sometimes a cohort of people who grasp for the fact that defaulting to the masculine singular is actually, technically grammatically correct.

If someone is reaching for their copy of the Oxford Dictionary of Etymology to make a point about why people shouldn’t be offended by their use of language - they’ve missed the point entirely.

8. LGBTQ+ Inclusive Language

LGBTQ+ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer or Questioning. The “+” stands in for all the other descriptors for sexual orientation. The initials and the various terms and descriptors are evolving fast so rather than trying to memorise the whole list, it’s more important to be respectful and use the terms that people offer and prefer.

The LGBTQ+ community as a whole is active in advocating for the respectful use of an individual’s preferred terms, preferred pronouns and general language preference.

9. The Language of Anti-racism

Regardless of what terms society comes up with to refer to white people and “others” the very act of talking about white people and others is, by its very definition, othering.

Terms like BAME (Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic), BiPOC (Black and Indigneous people of Colour), POC (People of Colour) and ethnic minorities all centre white people as ‘the norm’ or ‘the default’ and everyone else as ‘different’ or ‘other’. Not only can collective terms like these be othering, they can also hide very important specific issues that certain groups face, and they can hide important data.

10. Inclusive Language in Recruitment

Job advertisements are not allowed to advertise specifically for one race or religion, men or women or use pronouns such as he or she. However, preferences and unconscious biases can still be conveyed with more subtle cues such as traits and stereotypes typically associated with certain characteristics.

Words such as ‘aggressive’, ‘competitive’ and ‘dominant’ are associated with male stereotypes and it’s been suggested that they may put some women off applying for roles. Words such as ‘supportive’, ‘understanding’ and ‘interpersonal’ are associated with female stereotypes and may deter some men from applying for roles.

Unconscious bias goes much further than just gender bias alone, and it’s imperative that all biases are assessed and addressed, not just gender. Biases can include racial bias, LGBTQ+ bias and socio-economic bias as well as biases towards people of certain religions, ages - and many more.

REFLECTION

Including certain words and phrases in job advertisements and specifications could make the position seem less appealing to a certain gender or group, thereby limiting the applicant pool for these jobs. Reflect on the two statements below:

Statement 1.

I am always put off when I see an organisation searching for “the best of the best” or the “cream of the crop”. When I read that I immediately think “according to whose judgement?”.
In my imagination of those jobs, there’s a white guy who went to a private school, reading the CVs looking for white guys who went to private school.
It may not be true - but I have never got one of those jobs. The jobs I go for now are the ones who are looking for “creative thinkers” “disruptors” or “people who think outside the box”. That tells me they’re actively searching for different perspectives than theirs.
Wes, Graphic Designer.

Statement 2.

If I see a company advertising themselves as a meritocracy when the leadership is not diverse, the question “merit, according to who?” pops into my head straight away. Are you going to think what I can bring has merit? Probably not.
I avoid all organisations who are not diverse and who say they run a meritocracy.
Shallinee, Producer.

What did you take away from these two statements?
What steps do you need to take to equalise your recruitment practices?
Do you know an experienced recruiter that you can talk to about this? Make some time to seek out two or three (diverse) opinions on this point.

ACTIVITY

If you are not already checking your job adverts for hidden gender biases, consider running one of your recent job adverts and job descriptions through a decoder like this one.

Do you believe that language is powerful enough to turn away potential applicants?
How could you design a test in your organisation, to see whether or not language changes affect the applicant pool?

By far the best method of creating inclusive hiring content and processes, is to enlist the help of a diverse team in creating job specifications, interview processes and adverts. Ensure that the team is as diverse as possible and get them to help you adapt your specifications and processes to have a much wider appeal.

Something like job specs may seem trivial but this is such an important step in the process of gaining diversity in your workforce. You could be turning whole groups away without even realising it.

Using diversity focussed recruiters is crucial. Sticking to the same recruiters who have brought you great people in the past is fine - if they are bringing you a great, diverse mix of people. With so many recruiters placing such an emphasis on recruiting for diversity there’s not really an excuse for any recruiters not to be focussing on it, and there’s no excuse for not using one who has great DEI creds.

Check out some of the great recruiters who are actively working on their own Diversity, Equity and Inclusion as members of The Powered By Diversity Collective

Minorities Who 'Whiten' Job Resumes Get More Interviews HBR

Bias In Job Descriptions Mya

The Gender of Words: Are your job ads turning women away? Ideal Role

Creating job adverts to attract diverse candidates Undercover Recruiter Are your job ads gender biased? CIPHR